sana hindi mangyari ang lahat!

Madaling araw ng Disyembre 12, 2010

Ang nakita ko ay isang halimaw na ulap na nagmamadaling umaakyat sa langit. Iyun ay tila may paa na nagmamadaling makapanira ng mga lupain. Lumindol ng pagkalakas-lakas, nabiyak ang mga lupa… nagkaroon ng mga malalaking usli ng lupa samantalang lumubog naman ang ibang mga bahagi. Parang pumutok ang isang bulkan… pero nakalilito ang mga pangyayari dahil mayroon ding mga kasunod na pagsabog. Mabilis na nabalita ang trahedya, at muli na namang sumailalim sa krisis ang ating bansa.

Mula sa tinutuntungan kong sementeryo sa bundok, nakita ko ang lahat ng mga pagsabog at pagguho ng lupa, huminto ako at nagdasal na sana ang lahat ay manatili na lamang sa aking panaginip at hindi ito isang pangitain ng mas nakakahindik na katotohanan!

SEVEN RESTAURANT TURN-OFFS!

Sure they have the most delicious meal on the planet, almost everything. That’s why we always bring our family there and even celebrate our precious days inside their usually colorful haven. Be it Jollibee, McDonalds, KFC or the rests, we know that we always put them in our considerations when we need a place to fill our hungry stomach. There are always reasons to visit their space; however there are simple things that they sometimes missed and we never fail to see them, most often, these became their biggest turn-offs. Here is a rundown of turn-offs you don’t want to see in your favorite restaurant:

1. Scary guards and the other person that never smiles. Do we need any explanation for this? Hello? Do you know the five-letter word spelled SMILE?

2. Caution! “Wet floor” signs all over the place and other signage that just go along the way. Sometimes it is no longer the wet floor that you have to watch out for because in some cases, you need to be very careful not to bump on the yellow sign panel itself. And sometimes, they are all over the place that walking through the restaurant gives you an obstacle-course experience.

3. The table is either too high or too low. Interior-designing provides new dressing for our eating-paradise. However when style and function never meet what you will get is a frustrating dining experience. Please double-check if your coffee table is just enough to serve that hot liquid, otherwise, it is our head that will go crazy.

4. Alienating faucets and other small stuff that you need to open. It is very okay that Jollibee, McDonalds and the others are trying to sophisticate their services by providing modern details to their place. But for a simple person like me and the children, going to the toilet might turn-out to be a disaster; having hard time to locate the flush button (or are there still any?) or not finding the light switch. I will not forget my encounter to the gravy-pitcher that doesn’t want to give even a single drop and in one shake it spilled everything on the tray.

5. When the cleaning gets to our eating. We want the place to be clean and tidy for added pleasure in our gastronomic adventure… but we want to make it clear that we don’t want to see how they do it. Aside from the strong smell of the detergent that they use, you don’t want to eat while someone in a uniform is blocking your view outside because he is wiping the glass window. Should it be done right before they serve the first meal of the day?

6. The open door that leads to the kitchen and to the principal’s office. Everything should have been okay until you had a sneak view of the kitchen. Should that kitchen door that leads to the costumer’s area be close all the time?

7. When self-service became too literal. It is true that in some countries you will be requested to clean your table and put your trash in the bin. That could work here in the Philippines too. But that doesn’t mean that we want to eat in the table that we are the one that needs to do the cleaning right before we eat. Yes, you can ask for assistance, but hello, it would be nice and sweet if they have taken a keen eye for this and set the table before you can even sit-down.

It is true that when things look very amazing your eyes will instead look for a single mishap that will complete the perfect look. But it should not stop there, show them that you care and caring means; I am not going to eat here again unless you move that broom out of my chair!

--

photo from www.grimmemennesker.dk

Kabataang Lingkod ng Calumpit Leadership Training

The site was not new in my plate except definitely it was served with the mesmerizing look and gentle attitude of youth from Calumpit, Bulacan. My experience of facilitating the Community Organizing and Leadership Training of Kabataang Lingkod ng Calumpit or KLIC was a delightful treat to break my daily intake of 8-hour office work. This was a celebration set in the serene atmosphere of Forest Hills Village Resort in Subic Bay, Zambales.

I am so happy to arrive early in our assembly point in front of Calumpit Municipal Hall. The youth were very familiar to me; most of the convener and officers of KLIC were former officers of the youth council where I used to work in the last five years. The scenes wherein the youth were talking to each other, giving out genuine laughs, weighing their backpacks, comparing their fashion statement and some leaders reminding them of what they need to do; these were just memories to me now – almost!

Inside the van, KLIC officers were talking like professionals – checking out their responsibilities, reviewing their list of committees and once in a while will take a little bite of gossips about their friends and members. Very adult!

The ingredients for this sumptuous experience were just very simple; carefully prepared team-building activities in the afternoon, a cool diving experience in the pool, posh partying in the evening, chilly conversation during our sessions and sprinkle of good memories in the beach. Thanks to Mayor James De Jesus for believing in the capacities of KLIC members and for cooking up something special such as this for them.

But for me, more than anything else, the real secret of this successful recipe is the sincere effort of the youth to bring change in their community. I take pride of the sweet accomplishments of the youth behind this and for sharing me a slice of their wonderful cause -- in silver spoon.

HEROES AND SORROWS! Children and Youth who touched my life and changed my way of thinking…

They call me Kuya Edel, sometimes Sir Edel. They often told me that they realized many things from my lectures and were inspired by my life. The truth is, I was the one learning so much from the youth leaders and sponsored youth of Children International Manila…

and so starting from today; I will give accounts to all the youth who came across my life and left remarkable impact in my thoughts and actions.

Let me start with this simple story.

And he dreams again!

I think he never said hundred words for a day in his life except probably when he was required to sing the National Anthem when he was young. This was a joke of course.

But this is quite true to Gio (not his real name) one of the pioneer youth educators for our reproductive health advocacy campaign that started in 2005. When I interviewed him, he only introduced himself and gave more nod and head shakes than straight sentences and clear questions. It was very obvious to me that he will have hard times doing the task of a peer educator; he had insecurities standing in front of a crowd that’s why he speaks so low and always looking down, he didn’t even demonstrate any skills in art or show any creativity. Many people were asking why I included him in the list of the educators, I always respond by saying “at least he is there… meaning he likes the program… that’s why he’s there!” I hope it did make sense that time.

I discovered that he was very much interested in skateboarding and rock music which are way beyond my reference and so we rarely have conversations. I only learned things from him through the stories of the youth leaders who happened to be his neighbor or schoolmates. Just like many youth, he faced challenges in his life; he enrolled in college and had to stop after few months.

He attended our life skills training called Youth Empowerment Seminar or YES for out-of-school youth in our partner communities. There were group sharing, teambuilding activities and some sort of presentations. In one of that, he became our Retro Hunk for his outfit.

Despite of that rare expression, he was still a man of few words. However, I soon realized that his carefully chosen words were only trying to cover his unexpressed deep pain.

He shared to his youth facilitator his thought about being an out-of-school youth, his life with his friends, about the music they make and some other things that we never thought would come from him. His life was put in danger in quite some times; he tested and experimented in many things.

In high hopes and spirit, I prayed that he would pick-up some thing from the seminar that he can use in dealing with his life. And he never failed me.

After the seminar, I looked at the evaluation survey that he completed and I almost cried reading it… there imprinted in plane letters and color were words that made up a thought that changed my life. In the question “what are the most important thing you learned from the seminar?” this was his reply:
“I learned to dream again!”

I could not define exactly what I learned from that script but now, every time that I am down or I failed in my ways, I will remember Gio, and then I dream again!

---

Mula kay Kuya Edel

Slice of Life in Sierra Madre

Working with Haribon Foundation will bring your consciousness to the protection of the environment and conservation of species but I didn’t expect it can get very literal than that.

October 5, 2010

I woke-up at 4:00 am to organize my backpack that weights more than 12 kilograms. It has been 6 years since I did this kind of preparations of going to the mountain. I don’t know what items to bring; I counted on bringing stuff that will make me clean and happy along the way. I arrived in the office a little earlier than 6 am. The short travel from my apartment in SM North to Anonas, Cubao already gave me an idea on how much work my back will do in carrying my stuff.

Joining me in the travel were Kuya Jim, one of our consultants; Ate Jen, staff from our accounting department and Angie, our training assistant. We took our breakfast in a Pares House in Masinag, Antipolo at around 7 o’clock. Kuya Rene, our driver, said that Pares House is a favorite stop-over point for travelers who want to fill their stomach. It is true indeed, because they serve sumptuous sisig and pares recipes that look very ordinary but will give you nostalgic eating experience. Sad though because that morning I was really overwhelmed of the idea that I will be walking in the mountain and that lost my appetite for gastronomic adventure. So, I just took my household favorite hotdog and egg with coffee.

We arrived in our staff house in Infanta, Quezon at exactly 11 am after the crazy ride in the mountain of Antipolo, Laguna and Quezon. We rested for thirty minutes then we took our lunch. My instinct was telling me to eat a lot so that I can consume enough energy that I surely need for the physical activity ahead of me.

We had our lunch at Queen’s Cake Restaurant, a famous pastry shop in the town. They have cakes in different colors and shape, which are always present in a many occasions in Infanta. It was funny however that we didn’t order for cake that afternoon. We settled for a simple treat of eating an overly-stuffed relyenong bangus and fresh chopsuey. On the side, I ordered hot tea with calamansi to calm my stomach.

Kuya Jim had been reminding us that we need to start our journey to Sitio Pangatloan, Gen. Nakar earlier than 3 o’clock because it might rain along the way and the river can grow bigger. And so at two thirty, we left the office. Kuya Jim didn’t join us in the travel since he has another commitment to attend to the next day. With us were Kuya Nove, the community organizer in the area, and Ate Rona, one of our site staff.

We started our travel by riding on their local tricycle that is bigger than what we have here in Metro Manila. It was a short ride in the Magsaysay Highway. Along the way we received very warm welcome from big hawks enjoying the dense breezy air of the mountains. The towering mountains of Sierra Madre have succulent green skin that shines under the blue sky; such spectacle is giving me reasons to be proud of our country. However, part of the panoramic view is prominent signs of disgrace in our environment. There were patches of denuded forests because of logging and kaingin. The construction of the Magsaysay road created a long thread of destruction of the forest. I don’t know how to call what they did in the mountain but they sliced its faces to reconnect Quezon Province to the metro via the city of Marikina.

We came to that point that we have to start walking because of the dangerous curves and inclination of the trail. At first, it was full of fun; we were very engaged to the sceneries in 360 degrees. It was like you need to observe everything that comes to your senses. My eyes were busy capturing the heights of the mountain and every species that dwells on its layer. There were many things that I only see in the magazine and National Geographic. It was my first time to get up-close and personal with the pitcher plant. The one I saw dominated its host-tree, that’s why at first I thought that pitcher plant is a tree but thanks to Kuya Nove who corrected my impression. There were trees that have red leaves, some have white while others are small, floppy, and curly and others are big and scary.

… And there’s the river.

To cross the river, we have to check our perfect balance in a boat that is a little narrower than the usual canoe. Adding to our excitement is our very lean 40-yr. old boat captain, Ate Julie. Because of the limited space of the boat, we had to go by-twos, which was a challenge to Ate Julie. But Ate Julie proved that she has the strength and stamina to transport all of us to the other side of the river despite of the rain and the disturbing current not to mention our weight and of our luggage.

Then we have to walk again in a very stiff trail to our destination.

The community is situated almost at the heart of the mountain ranges of Sierra Madre; there are mountains everywhere. On my estimate, only 30 families inhibit the place. People rely largely on farming that is just enough to sustain the need of the whole community. Many have vegetable garden in their yard while some raise chicken and ducks for their source of meat and protein. Though it may seem that living in the place is very challenging, Sitio Pangotloan is very lucky to have a school in their community with special classes for the Alternative Learning Education.

We capped our day by having candle-light dinner followed by the serenade of native ducks while we were sleeping.


October 6, 2010

I woke-up early to witness how the sun rises in the mountain but that morning was a little gloomy. Thick clouds were covering the mountains and the mist kept dancing with the butterflies in the school garden. We just enjoyed the cool weather and gave our best poses for the picturesque serene sceneries. Joining us in our romance with nature were birds in various flocks: kalaw, maya and small others that I don’t know. We also revisited the river but we were not able to get close because it grown wider and bigger - and brown like a 3-in-1 coffee that is good for our breakfast.

Then we geared up to do our intention of going to the community – to conduct an Organizational Management Training to the women’s group of Sitio Pangotloan. We were too busy that morning that we almost forget that there was a wonderful treat for our lunch.

But there showed up our unexpected visitor: a long creature that has features similar to grasshopper and walk like scorpion. I took my cellphone and recorded its every motion. It was my first encounter with that specie that later on I learned is called “stick insect”. May be, the stick insect was just so jealous that we have “sinantol” for our lunch which was a perfect match for chicken cooked in coconut milk.

Every people who visit Quezon should try sinantol for any of their meal. Like a fruit version of “bagoong”, sinantol is a good appetizer for your heavy meal. It has an extraordinary fusion of the sour taste of santol and the lame sweetness of the coconut milk.

In the afternoon, we rested in a hut inside the school premises. There we had coffee and shares of funny stories– what a lovely way to relax after our serious moments during the training.


October 7, 2010

Ate Rona and I will have to leave earlier than the rest of the group because we will be meeting the facilitators for our next training in Infanta, Quezon. So after loading up ourselves with our tasteful breakfast: dried fish, cucumber and coffee; we headed excitedly for our trekking adventure.

Instead of walking in the rice field, we walked straight beside the river to check other trails. Unfortunately, there were no available boats on that particular site and so we walked back to our original route. We passed by a family having a picnic in the riverbank. What a lovely way to spend the morning; children playing in the water, mother preparing the meal and a father looking after his children.

And there’s the river again… but this time on its frightening state, at least on my standard.

We have to wait for a couple of minutes for the boatman to arrive. That time what we had was a half-boat (literally). Because it was like they cut the boat into two and just covered the rear side and that’s it - another boat. With that half-boat and the rapid of the wide river, what I did was just surrender myself to the moment. Our boat was shaking in every small movement that we do and there were water getting in inside the boat. When we reached to the other side of the river, I thank God that it was over because that short distance was already a dare-devil ride for me.

We walked through the same trail that we had last Oct. 5. But it was harder this time since we were going up and I thought we were really trekking now. It was very hard! I have sweat all over my body. We stopped in a waiting shed were we can get a tricycle to bring us to the highway. While waiting, we met two mothers who harvested some crops in the forest. As a usual courtesy they asked where we came from and what did we do there.


After thirty minutes of waiting, we decided to walk again and see by chance if along the way we can get a tricycle.

The slope of the mountain was really hard that we have to rest (and relax) after five minutes. Being a frequent visitor to that place, Ate Rona walked faster than me but she too has complaining looks. There were several times that I have to catch-up with her steps; that even required me to exert more effort. When we reached to the point that our phones can already received communication signals, I wasted no time to call Kuya Obet, our driver, to pick us up wherever we can get through (but in my mind I wanted to say NOW, as in that very moment).

I found a shady point where we can rest but Ate Rona decided to continue walking and said that she will just meet Kuya Obet in the highway and then they will come back to pick me up. That was a very good suggestion for me. I dropped my backpack in the ground and rest my head into it like a pillow. I was so tired that I was able to sleep along the way for a few minutes. Thanks to Kuya Obet who arrived early than what I expected and everything went to normal including my blood pressure.

At the vehicle I kept talking about my big accomplishment of surviving that trail and all the great experiences I had in Sitio Pangatloan at Mahabang Lalim, General Nakar, Quezon.

So, if you are planning a unique and sincere way to spend any vacations that you may have, you might want to try that humble trip in Sitio Pangotloan. There are probably no guided tourism activities in the place – but there are many things that you can do depending on your creativity and desires to do the extreme. You can enjoy the rapid, watch birds, visit the falls or simply talk to the people who lives with nature. At the end of the day, you will have to remember everything; the slice of life in Sierra Madre.

---

by Kuya Edel

PASKO NA, ANDIAN NA SILA - ang mga BADJAO!

Umakyat ako ng jeep at pinilit na isiniksik ang sarili ko sa kapiranggot na espasyo na natitira sakin para magbayad ng siete sa biyaheng Philcoa hanggang SM North. Alas-siete ng gabi, paboritong oras ng trapik. Ang bagal ng andar ng dyip, mas mabilis ang paglalakbay ng mata ko sa mga gawain sa Quezon City Circle. Kumikinang ang kabilugan ng parke, napapalibutan ito ng mga punong kumukutitap sa iba’t-ibang kulay na ilaw.Unti-unti na yata nilang inaayos ang perya sa loob nito. Habang nagmumuni-muni ako, tamang-timing naman ang pagtugtog sa radio… “pasko na sinta ko!” ay pasko na nga!


Bigla kong naisip na nandiyan na rin sila.


“Mag-ingat sa mga mandurukot sa kahabaan ng North Ave” yan ang paalala ng driver. Deadma ang mga pasahero, busy sa mga hindi-tumatamang tinginan. Huminto ang dyip sa gilid ng Veterance Hospital, iyun ang hudyat sa mga tao na tila kanina pa nagdarasal na huminto na ang mga sasakyan. Umakyat ang isang binata, maitim ang balat, katamtaman ang taas at nakayukong inaabot ang mga sobreng mukhang noong isang taon pa niya ginagamit. Kunwaring hindi ko tatanggapin ang sobre, pero nilapag na niya yun sa ibabaw ng bag ko na nakapatong sa binti ko. Binigyan niya lahat ng sobre, at umupo sa may estrebo at saka sinimulang tumugtog gamit ang mga latang, pinagdugtong ng makakapal na itim na goma. Maganda ang musikang nililikha ng kanyang paghampas, habang nililibang ko ang sarili sa naiibang tugtugin, pinagmamasdan ko ang sobre. Nangungusap ito, binibigkas noon ang salitang -- awa. Nakasulat na magbigay ng pera para sa kanilang pagkain. Naroon din ang pagbati ng maligayang pasko mula sa isang Badjao. Malapit na nga ang pasko dahil nandiyan na sila.

Pasko na, dahil nariyan na sila. Hindi man maganda pakinggan pero ito ay tila isang totoong testamento, sigurado akong hindi lang ako magsasabi nito.

Hindi ko lang sila sa North Avenue nakikita, naroon din sila sa Novaliches, sa SM Fairview, sa harap ng North Olympus sa Zabarte – hindi ko na alam kung saan pa, pero nariyan sila para umakyat sa dyip, tumugtog at manghingi ng aginaldo. Hindi mo man maintindihan ang mga awit nila, alam mo kung ano ang layunin ng kanilang mga puso sa oras na inabot na nila ang sobre.
Marami ang nagtatanong kung saan ba sila nanggaling, paano sila nakarating sa kanilang mga destinasyon kung tila wala naman silang perang pampamasahe. Pero maliban sa mga tanong na yan, meron pang mga bagay na dapat mas pagtuonan ng pansin nating lahat at ng ating mga pinuno.

Saan sila natutulog? Paano sila namumuhay sa mga espasyong hindi nila kabisado. Paano nila inaalagaan sa gitna ng daan ang kanilang mga anak? Paano rin sila pino-protektahan ng gobyerno? Paano nila inaalagan ang mga lugar na malayo sa pang-araw-araw nilang buhay. Napagmasdan ko minsan kung paano sila mamuhay sa kalsada ng Novaliches, sa gilid ng isang paaralan. Sinakop nila ang inabandonang tinadahan, naroon ang kanilang mga supling na naglalaro kasama ng mga usok ng mga sasakyan. Ang madudusing nilang damit ang naging palamuti ng pansamantala nilang tahanan. Masaya ang kanilang mga galaw, pero ipagpatawad niyo, dahil talagang natakot akong mapa-daan doon. Hindi ko alam, may basehan nga kaya ang nararamdaman kong pangamba? Sabi nila, wag daw mag-abot ng barya sa kanila dahil sila ay hawak ng mga sindikato! Lalo tuloy akong natakot.

Saka ko na iisipin ang takot, dahil gusto ko silang maging kaibigan dahil sa naiiba nilang tugtugan. Kung pag-aaralan mo ang musikang kanilang nililikha, ito ay may sariling pangalan at kayang magpakilala ng bagong tunog na mamahalin nating lahat. Ang musikang likha nila, tulad ng ibang sining ay may angking ganda na maaring humalina sa ating damdamin. Ito ay may sariling himno at patakaran. Sana nga ito ay maisama sa maka-sining na pagtatanghal. Naniniwala akong kayang makipagtulungan ng musikang ito na buhatin ang ating bansa sa pandaigdigang tungalian sa musika.

Sino kaya ang susugal para sa kanilang mga awitin?

Sa layo ng itinakbo ng isip ko, muntikan nakong lumampas, buti na lang nagsalita ang driver, “SM North na po!” Bumaba akong sumasayaw sa kanilang mga pangarap. Sana bago dumating ang pasko, maging kaibigan ko sila, malaman ko kung saan sila talaga nanggaling at makita ko ang inspirasyon ng kanilang sining. Sana ay magawa kong maki-pagniig sa kanilang kultura at maging isa sa kanilang pagmamahal sa sarili.

Sana hindi pa huli ang lahat na itayo ang kanilang lahi, naniniwala akong sa kanilang hanay ay ang mga magigiting na alagad ng sining, mabubuting mamamayan na gugustuhin pang bumaba ang tingin sa sarili kesa gumawa ng masama – at dahil dun sila ay lubos na kahanga-hanga.

Pasko na dahil nariyan na sila, kung wala ng pasko ay maaaring umalis na din sila. Pero may pasko man o wala, sila ay nariyan, gagawa ng musika para sa atin, hindi man para sa konting barya, para sa pagpapahayag ng kanilang kultura at paniniwala.

I AM THE KEEPER OF THE FAIRY'S HEART

Allure my heart and wake my dream
Reminisce the fight in my chamber of faith
Lionize yourself; see your reflection on the stream
Endear the moment, feel how they bait
Nuisance of fear of the fairy in doubt
ENtice your emotion; hear the keeper shout.


Hum ‘till I hear you cry and sing.
Empire of rage is waiting for the king,
Resound the hymn and begin to see.
Marathon of fire melts to the sea.
I am the keeper of the fairy’s heart
Devoted to wait ‘till I bring it home,
As I keep the fairy’s heart
I start again and dream alone.

- Edel S. Garingan

MY (27th) BIRTHDAY PROJECT...

Despite of the national hype on the observation of the Labor Day, I was so enthusiastic to stretch my bones and go to work. And so, I woke up early, had my breakfast and enjoyed the travel with no traffic. While on the road and looking outside the jeepney window, crazy things visited my mind and started to outline things that I need to accomplish for my 27th birthday. Ding-dong! I almost forgot my big day.

I wanted something new for my birthday not the usual gatherings, going-out and drinking – and so I thought of may be doing crazy things but then I can’t do that. I considered going to places I’ve never been like Boracay, Davao and Palawan but then I can’t afford that. In my frustration I just focused on the things that I do best and I can do with the least resources (yun naman pala ang dahilan). Well anyway, I was able to list down ten things that I ought to do for my birthday.

I started my birthday project by doing personalized and hand-made greeting cards to five youth leaders that had been very close to me (oops, others please don’t be jealous, it is just that I can only make 5). It doesn’t mean naman that because it was my birthday, I need to be the one to receive gifts like this, may be I can revert the tradition. I put all my creative juices in the cards… hopefully it went out good.

This one is really exciting and very special too. My second project was the storytelling session to 15 children of our volunteer mothers in one of our service center. It was fun; I told them the story of “ang bata sa basket” by Augie D. Rivera published by UNICEF. To make it more special, I prepared the snack for them. I cooked corn and tuna macaroni for the little party that we had. The youth loved it but not most of the children, they had more fun of the story and the orange/grape juice. On the other hand, Ma'am Cynthia, our (former) agency director sent to me some cute and very practical items that I used as prizes for the kids who made wonderful "I love you" card for the parents.

The next project I took was to give gifts to three sponsored children. I chose one guy from our theater group who celebrated his birthday during our training in Loyola Retreat House. Kuya Joel, my friend and officemate sponsored the school supplies I gave to Judai and Austin (wonderful young singers of our theater group). I also gave the sweat shirt I bought from Baguio to a friend (youth leader) who later on gave me a special treat at COCKTALES! Sarap!

Next on my list was to conduct resume-writing workshop to program graduates. Unfortunately, only 2 individuals attended the workshop so it became like a tutorial session for them. But I really enjoyed it; I saw in their faces that they have learned something from me. I may not be an expert on this, but at least I can help based on what I know and do.

My fifth project was to send snail mail to a very special friend from the province. I bought old traditional airmail envelope and put my writing in a yellow paper just like the old days. Oh my! I didn’t know that indeed, snail mail works so matagal, as in more tan two weeks before it arrived in Quezon, but worth the wait, because she liked it.

I actually listed ten things, but because of many projects that I have to accomplish in the office, I only achieved the above 5 targets. But I’m still happy of these things.

There were four things I was not able to do (saying). Those are (1) join a competition, whatever it is (2) offer fruits, as in many fruits, in a mass celebration (3) create an artwork for the office and (4) collect 25 centavo coins and donate it to the Pondong Pinoy. My birthday-session, probably, is over but that doesn’t mean I will stop pursuing these 4 projects… and more, and more!

There were also side projects; opportunities that just went a long the way. Like I had invitation to do a storytelling session at UP Los Baños, Laguna with the Asian Rice Institute then had a tour at IRRI, which is really beautiful I had this nostalgic feeling of my New York days.

On the actual day of my birthday, we were having the general and dress rehearsal for our Youth RAK Concert (by the way, RAK means Random Act of Kindness). Before we proceeded for our dinner, the youth surprised with a cake and a beautiful rendition of “happy birthday”! That inspired me to do more things for the youth and children of Children International. I felt that I am loved by many people… that can’t be replaced by anything or anyone in any way.

BUNDAT

Baliw! Nakababaliw ang pag-ibig.

Noong ikinasal kami ni Rudy samu’t-saring emosyon ang nagsumiksik sa aking damdamin. Tulad ng ibang dalagang inihahatid sa dambana, kasiyahan ang aking nadarama. Puli-pulidong kaligayahan na tila hindi kukupas kailanman. Kasabay ng pagkumpas ng kaligayahan sa aking puso, naroon sa pasilyo ang pag-awit ng kalungkutan. Hay, ito na siguro ang kalooban ng Diyos para sakin.Ang piliing mapalayo sa mga magulang para sa pag-ibig ng isang lalaki.

Sa gabi ng aming pulo’t gata, walang sisidlan ang kaba sa aking puso. Bawat pintig ay katumbas ng maraming tanong. Masakit kaya? Masarap ba? Anong dapat kong gawin? Hindi ko alam? OO nga, mahirap pa lang maging virgin! Nagdalaga ako at nagpakasal na inosente sa kasiyahan ng laman. Si Rudy tuwang-tuwa at tila sanay-na-sanay. Ewan ko, parang nasaring ang pagkabababe ko. Siguro hindi ako ang naunang babae kay Rudy. Pero, bakit ko pa iisipin yun e, asawa ko naman na siya.

Sumabay ang panahon sa pagpintig ng puso ko. Napintahan ng kalungkutan ang makulay naming buhay. Kumukupas ang kulay ng aming pagsasama – tila ba dini-dililigan ng sunod-sunod na bagyo. Halos lunurin na’ko ng pangungulila. Hindi naman sa hindi kami magkasundo, sensitibo pa rin ang puso ko sa paglalambing ni Rudy, ngunit limang buwan na mula ng kami ay kinasal hindi pa rin kami magkaanak. Nasasabik ako! Niinip! Naiingit! Bakit si Linda? Tatlong buwan pa lang silang nagsasama ni Ariel, na-delay na kaagad ang regla. Yun ang problema – hindi ako mabuntis-buntis, hanggang umabot ng isang taon.

Maraming nakisimpatya sa akin. Nakipagtsismisan. Ang kuwento namin ay parang kaning lamig na pinuputakti ng mga langgam. Gabi-gabi, halos hindi ako makatulog, hindi ako mapakali. – kinapalooban ng mga hinanakit ang puso. Maraming nagsa-suggest ng iba’t-ibang bagay na makatutulong daw para mabuntis ako. Kahit sa madaling araw umiiyak ako, kahit pa katatapos lang naming ni Rudy. Nanghihinayang ako sa mga pangarap ni Rudy para sa akin at para ( sana ) sa magiging anak namin.

Kahit lumaki ako sa mala-mongheng pamilya, iniisp ko na lang na kailangan kong gawin ang mga sinasabi nila sakin. Kahit minsan ayokong gawin, mahirap at parang nandidiri ako, iniisip ko na lang na kailangan kong gawin ang mga yun: tumuwad, mag-ipit ng unan, iba’t-ibang posisyon. Siguro nga desperado na’ko. Ewan ko ba, noong una hindi ko talaga masikmura pero sa tagal ng panahon ako na mismo ang lumunok ng katotohanan na maaring naubos na ng mga langgam ang matris ko.

Minsan para maiburol namin ang pananabik namin na magka-anak, hinihiram na lang namin ang mga anak ng mga pinsan ko. Doon ko nararamdaman ang silakbo ng damdamin ng isang ina. Para namang pinapaso ng init niyon ang puso ko sa tuwing nakikita ko si Rudy na tuwang-tuwa sa mga bata. Kung anak lang sana namin sila. May mga pagkakataon na nagagalit ang mga pinsan ko sa amin kesyo sinasanay daw namin ang mga anak nila sa luho. Masakit, parang pinapamukha sa akin na hindi ako magka-anak.

Hindi naman baog si Rudy, yun ang sabi ng doctor. Hindi rin naman ako. Normal kaming dalawa at tulad din ng madaming mga mag-asawa isang libong prosyento din ang posibilidad na magkaka-anak kami. Pero bakit? Sabi ng doctor acidic daw kasi kaming dalawa. Maari nga!
Madalas kasing uminom si Rudy kasing dalas din ng pagniniig namin. Minsan naririnig kong kinakantyawan si Rudy ng mga kumpare niya na baka kasi maliit yung sa kanya (hindi naman ah!). Umiiyak na lang ako, lalo pa at lalapit si Rudy sakin at magpaparaos. Luha! Yun na lang ang naghuhugas ng aking mga hinanakit. Mapait. Tulad din ng buhay pag-aasawa ko.

Magdadalawang taon na kaming mag-asawa ng magdesisyon akong tumigil na muna sa pagta-trabaho baka tulad din ng mga napapanood ko sa TV, masyado lang akong pagod. Walang akong ginawa kundi ang paghainan ng pagkain si Rudy bago pumasok sa trabaho, panoorin ang kanyang paglayo at hintayin ang kanyang pagbabalik – at manabik sa muli naming pagtatagpo sa gabi.

Pakiramdam ko wala ng saysay ang pag-se-sex namin. Ginagawa na lang naming yun para mailabas ang mga hinanakit namin sa buhay. Sa kabilang banda masaya na din ako dahil alam kong mahal na mahal ako ni Rudy. Hindi siya nagahahanap ng ibang kandungan.

Matagal-tagal ding hindi ko naramdaman ang init sa lugar namin. Hindi kasi ako lumalabas ng bahay, sawa na kong putaktakin ng mga usapan, lalo ko lang inililibing ang pag-asang magkaka-anak din kami ni Rudy. Ewan ko ba, pagnagse-sex kami, hindi na yun ang dahilan.

Gusto kong maging INA, lahat naman yata kaming mga babae yun ang pangarap; na kung titingnan naman ay nariyan lang sa lupa at pupulitin mo na lang, pero bakit parang sinadya ng Diyos na paliparin yung sa hangin at tuluyang ilambitin sa langit para sa akin. Ano bang kasalanan ko?

Inisip naming mag-ampon, pero iba ang gusto ko! Gusto ko yung dadalhin ko sa sinapupunan ko, di-dede sa akin. Iba ata ang emosyon ng tunay na anak.

May pag-asa pa naman, eh bakit yung kapitbahay naming na si Aling Adela at Mang Basyo, lumipas muna ang limang taon bago sila nagka-anak, kami ni Rudy e mahigit dalawang taon pa lang naman. Kung nakapaghintay sila, bakit ako hindi.

Para lang akong puno na matagal mamunga. Kailangan alagaan at diligan. Pero bakit ganun? Hindi naman nagkulang si Rudy sa pagdilig sa akin. Sobra pa nga, araw-araw. Siguro tulad ng isang puno, masamang lunurin sa tubig. Tama nga, nalulunod ako kay Rudy.

Pero may kunswelo pa din ang buhay. Masasabi kong nakakangat ako ng buhay kesa sa mga pinsan ko. May anak nga sila, wala naman silang pera. Nagmukha tuloy silang mga losyang at hukluban. Si Rudy, guwapo pa din. Na-isip ko rin, maganda na ngang hindi muna kami mag-anak, mahirap pa kasi ang buhay. Magpapayaman na lang muna kami.

Defense mechanism ko na lang ‘to. Dahil ang totoo sabik talaga akong magka-anak. Ayoko ko namang dumating ang panahon na kami lang dalawa ni Rudy ang magkasama. Hindi naman habang buhay kaya naming mag-sex.

Ayoko ko namang sumayaw sa Obando, nahihiya ako, para sa akin, pangmatanda lang yun, bata pa naman kami ni Rudy. Masigla pa ang mga eggcells ko, matagal pa bago ako mag-menapause.

Sa kabila ng kilokilometring dilim may natitira pa ring isang dangkal na liwanag, yan ang nakita ko sa sitwasyon namin. Nabuhayan ako ng loob. Naging pala-simba kami ni Rudy, panata na nga siguro. Naisip ko tuloy na baka nga parusa lang to sa amin, dahil mukhang nakalimutan naming ipagdiwang ang pagsasama namin na kasama ang Panginoon. Sa isang misa, nabanggit ng pari sa amin na minsan daw kaya hindi nagkaka-anak ang mag-asawa ay dahil may kasalanan muna silang dapat pagbayaran. Doon nasabi sa akin ni Rudy na may nauna na siyang pamilya, nagkaroon siya ng ka-live-in at 2 anak. Nagliyab ang puso ko. Binaha ng galit. Wala akong nagawa kundi tanggapin. Ganun naman dapat diba? Matuto tayong tumanggap sa katotohanan, kahit pa minsan para yung halimaw na nagdudulot ng kaguluhan sa puso mo.

Tinanggap ko pero nasasaktan ako, nalalaswaan ako. Hindi ko na masikmura ang paglalambing ni Rudy. Nususuka ako. Isipin ko pa lang na nagamit na niya “yun” sa ibang babae, ayoko na! Hindi ko alam, noon nasasarapan ako, ngayon, gusto ko ng bawiin lahat ng pagkakataon na sumisiping siya sa akin.

Mahigit dalawang buwan na kaming nag-aaway. Pero aaminin kong, ayoko rin namang maghiwalay kami, hindi naman kami nagsasama dahil sa sex lang o hindi naman talaga sex ang dahilan.

Ngunit dumating ang isang araw na nagising na lang akong galit na galit kay Rudy, gusto kong balikan ang pangloloko niya sa akin. Gusto ko siyang lasunin, siya naman ang lulunurin ko. Ewan ko, sinapian na yata ako ng masamang ispiritu. Sa isip ko, isa-isa kong binubunot ang mga buhok at kuko niya. Gusto ko siyang hubaran ng balat… nagdilim ang paningin ko… pero bago ko pa man maisakatuparan ang aking paghihiganti dumilim ang aking mundo at nahulog ako sa bangin.

Gumising akong tulala at hindi alam ang gagawin. Ngumiti sa akin si Rudy. “wag kang masyadong magpapagod makakasama sa bata!” Pumikit ako at muling nagpalamon sa dilim. Lumiliwanag ang aking mga tingin. Halos mabaliw ako sa kaligayan, lumipad ako at pinitas ang pangarap na matagal ng nakahain sa langit… ang kailangan ko lang pala ay maniwala at lumipad. #

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Sinulat ko ang kwento na'to nung 2nd year college ako! haix, nakakatuwa at nasa cabinet-archive ko pa pala 'to!

SIMPLENG HILING SA PRESIDENTE NG PILIPINAS!

Totoo nga na madaming problema ang bansang Pilipinas. But what else is new? Corruption, traffic, kakulangan sa madaming bagay at serbisyo! Sa sobrang dami mahirap malaman kung saan ba dapat magsimula. Kahit ano man ang unahin nila, narito ang ilang simpleng proyekto at adhikain na makapagpapabago ng Pilipinas.

1. Ibalik ang BATIBOT!

Sayang, dahil pagmulat ng mata wala ang langit na nakatawa pati ang Batibot. Naging bahagi ng pagkatuto ng maraming Pilipino ang Batibot… sa totoo nga ito ay bahagi ng aming pagiging bata. Ang palabas na tulad ng Batibot ay nakatutulong upang mas madaling matandaan ng mga bata ang pagbibilang, ang mga alpabeto at marami pang iba. Akala ko nga ang Batibot ay bahagi na ng ating kultura… hindi pa pala. Buti pa si Dora at Boots kilala ng mga batang pinoy, paano na lang sina pong pagong at kiko matsing?

2. Magtanim ng madaming puno.

Mukhang gasgas na ang proyektong ito. Pero, kailan nga ba huling nagtanim ng puno ang pamahalaan? as in yung malawakang pagtatanim. Sa tindi ng init na nararanasan natin ngayon, kailangan nating magdagdag ng sources ng oxygen. Ayun nga sa lecture na dinaluhan namin sa La Mesa Ecopark, para ma-purify ang air sa isang lugar kung saan dinaraanan ng isang sasakyan ay kailangan mo ng mga 20 na puno. Tama, dalawampung puno. Just imagine, gaano karami ang sasakyan sa Maynila, at ilan ang puno sa daan para maglinis ng hangin? Kung ang bawat daan sana ay tataniman ng mga halaman, shrubs at mga puno, e dadami ang sources ng malamig na hangin na - oxygen. Tingan mo halimbawa ang parking lot ng malalaking mall? Sigurado akong may mga bahagi pa dun na pwede pa sanang pagtaniman ng puno. Napakadaming pinapasementong daan, pwedeng tama yun, pero sana kaalinsabay sa pagtatayo ng mga bagong mall, kalsada at mga opisina ay ang pagtatanim ng puno.

3. Magpagawa ng maayos at malinis na school canteen at banyo.

Aminado ang pamahalaan na kulang ang mga classrooms para sa mga mag-aaral kaya madaming klase ngayon ang nagsisiksikan. Maaring kulang din ang pondo sa pagpapagawa ng mga ito. Pero hindi lang naman classrooms ang pangangailangan ng mga studyante, pwedeng hindi lang inaangal ng madami pero maraming school canteen ang hindi maayos at madumi. Unhygienic baga. Oo nga, nasasapawan ng pangangailangan ng classrooms ang problema sa mga school canteen, pero tulad ng iba pang problema eto rin ay kailangan sulosyunan.

Sige, pwede muna nating ipagpaliban ang usapin sa school canteen, pero ang problema sa mga palikuran sa mga paaralan hindi dapat isnabin. Madaming paaralan ang hindi maayos ang mga banyo, walang sistema para dito at kulang din ng pondo para ipambayad sa mga utility personel na maglilinis nito. Mula noong nag-aaral pa ako hanggang ngayon, na may pagkakataon na nakabibisita ako sa mga paaralan, isa pa ring malaking problema ang CR. Madumi, barado, walang tubig at walang maglilinis. Sabi nga sa isang libro, minsan kahit iihi ka lang, minsan mauuna ka pang masuka.

4. Magpagawa ng malinis na CR sa mga istasyon ng bus at barko

O wag na muna tayong lumayo sa usapang banyo. Kung ikaw yung tao na mahilig bumiyahe sa mga probinsya o kahit sa Maynila lang, siguro na-experience mo na ang maduduming banyo sa mga bus station. Ok pa kahit papano yung sa ibang bus station na malapit sa Jollibee o McDo kasi may option ka, pero paano kung wala. Nung minsan bumiyahe ako papuntang Bolinao, grabe ang mga nadaanan naming CR ng mga bus station, hindi maganda at nakakahiya sa mga turista. Maganda ang Pilipinas, mga ilog, beach, resort, hotels at iba pa, pero aminin man natin o hindi kasama sa mga dadaanan mo pagbumibiyahe ang mga kubeta!

Maaring ang mga nabanggit na proyekto ay simple lamang pero sa tingin ko, ang mga ito ay mapapakinabangan ng madaming Filipino. Kung masisiyahan ang madami, bakit hindi di ba?

EMIR!

Last night I am having a second thought of watching a film. Why? First I don’t know what to like. Second, I don’t want to spend much. But then because I’ve been very tired these past few weeks, I really feel that I need to give myself a little threat in the cinema. Then, there I was standing in the movie booth, uncertain which one to see. Luckily, Emir came to my consideration.

In the beginning, I almost lost my interest. There’s a lot of singing going on, almost no rhyme, no beat and no interesting sound of the modern world, very few popular artist - the film, indeed, didn’t compromise with commercialism, it is full of art, the one that many youth or Filipinos no longer recognize nowadays. But then, slowly, the film will give you unexplained urge to just sit down there and let the story unfold in front of your eyes.

The lead actress is so “Filipina” and the rest of the OFWs featured in the film. I don’t want to talk about its story because the film has mastered its narration. Dulce, my goodness… she is so great! I didn’t imagine that she can act that way. She sings well, though I wish that the camera and a little ingredient of special effect would make her scene (the one when she convinces Amelia to accept the position she will be leaving) very much of “dream girls” or “Moulin Rouge”.

Emir is a film that this generation has almost missed. This is a film that we need right now! Beautiful storytelling, the lines are not awkward, actors are almost real and the cinematography is perfect.

This is a must-see film! Please watch it!
This is a little cliché… but simply for being a Filipino – watch it! It is beautiful!
Emir is beautiful!

THE BIRTH OF EVERYTHING WITH E

I always dream of becoming a talk show host; doing interviews to different people – in all walks of life. I want to see Madonna sitting right in front me in her gorgeous Armani female suit, we are laughing together, she’s talking about her elementary crush, her performance in school, how she actually liked mathematics and astronomy… then I get to know people in Somalia, discover their acquaintance with Mickey Mouse and Hollywood. But this wild dream didn’t come true. Six years after I graduated in college, I am now working as youth development worker in an NGO that helped me reached my dreams. Oh yeah, I get to talk to a lot of young people, learn their dreams and principle and uncover their heart’s desire. But then again, my aspiration of being in a make-shift beautiful living room inside a studio still lingers in my mind… I can still envision the movements of the camera, the dancing of lights and the director saying “action”. I am getting delusional now, and so before things get worse and I eat myself into deep frustration… I thought why not do it here?

Yeah, express myself in the web and create a blog site wherein I can talk about many topics – share my ideas on random events and interesting stuff! Now, I really wanted a name for my show that almost depicts everything I want to call is as “everything with E”. I’ll have it here! Not just in the air… but on line!

“Everything with E” is the haven of my thoughts, where my creativity will battle out with my emotions, practicality and my personal history. This is a place where I can talk about with things that start begins with “E” such as environment, education, entertainment, emotions, electricity, economics and events. But I will not forget things that has E on its center like sex perhaps, or men. Then, those that ends with “e” like life, love and style… and many others things that has “e” on it like freedom, health, games, recreation, science and other creatures. Food doesn’t have “e” but we can talk about appetite, desserts, cakes, candies, chocolates, meat and vegetables – oh don’t forget our juice and shakes.

Being ugly and fool doesn’t count on this blog; we rather talk about being beautiful, sexy and simple. If you have problem that has “e’ on it, sorry, solution doesn’t have ‘e” for it, but please don’t cry we can solve it, and if things get really tough and very hard to figure out, what we need is just a miracle that ends with “e”.

War doesn’t have “e” that’s why I don’t like it. I prefer peace and negotiations. We cannot talk about you and I and us… but we can talk about everybody and anyone. Probably, only Tuesday and Wednesday have “e” on it but who cares? We can do it everyday, within the week perhaps or why not the whole year. Do I need to measure about time?

So the next time that you open the net, don’t forget to visit my site “everything with e”. Always remember the “e” is the center of the World Wide Web!